You might be older now, but you still look half your age. You've always been an on-the-go sort of person, and there's been nothing short of giving birth that has kept you in one place for too long. People have often wondered at your energy, but you simply respond that that's just the way you are.

Well, that was until your varicose veins showed up and needed Sclerotherapy. During your three pregnancies your doctor told you to keep off your feet, but you thought it was far healthier to keep active and go for lots of walks. After all, you were getting too big to successfully fit in a car anyway!

Your children were all born quite healthy, and you had no problem getting rid of the excess pregnancy weight. However, you noticed that after each pregnancy, some more varicose veins showed up. You weren't thrilled that your legs, once smooth and athletic, were now starting to look like a three-dimensional map. So, when you heard about the Sclerotherapy procedure, you knew that it was something that you were interested in doing.

You told your family about your plans to undergo Sclerotherapy, and while they supported your decision, they had no clue what the process entailed. You had actually only heard that it was a successful method being used to remove varicose veins, and you were sold on that alone.

Well, you realized that it was important to know the details of Sclerotherapy, so you hopped onto your computer and did a little research. It didn't take long for you to find the answers that you needed. Specifically, it was a minimally-invasive procedure in which medicine was injected directly into the varicose veins in order to shrink them. After the procedure, it was important to rest the legs for a little while.

The thought of having to sit in one place really annoyed you. You loved being outside and gardening, taking the dog for walks, and hiking. It was hard for you to imagine sitting in your armchair, watching awful daytime television. Well, at least it was a decent excuse to catch up on your reading.

You visited a local dermatologist that your sister-in-law had recommended, and explained your nature to him – this hyper nature of yours that had resulted in the varicose veins. Your dermatologist laughed, and said that while being overly active might have been part of the reason for the varicose veins, it wasn't the entire reason. Genetics were also a factor, in that rheumatoid arthritis, a common ailment in your family in later years, was now setting in on you, and the varicose veins were part of the evidence.

This was annoying news, but not anything that would have a lasting effect on you. You started going in intervals for the procedure, and stayed off your feet at night (but you still took walks during the day – no one was going to stop you from doing that). You've since seen gradual improvement in your legs, and you're thinking about buying those cute shorts you saw at the mall!

You think of yourself as an altruistic person. Whenever loved ones are in a fight, you're always the one to talk them through it and get them to reconcile. Whenever loved ones are in need of a monetary loan, you give it to them, with no thought that they should pay you back. You're such a nice person, that you're often far too busy helping others to notice that you, yourself, need pampering.

You've noticed the spider veins on your legs, but you haven't paid much attention to them. After all, those spider veins just sort of appeared one day, and you barely think of them. Well, it's time that you did think about them, because spider veins are not nice things.

Most people (obviously angry people, very much unlike yourself) hate spider veins for cosmetic reasons. In fact, they (and you too) should really hate them for the medical problems they indicate. For example, spider veins often indicate a problem with circulation. Their appearance can also be indicative of a clot, or amyriad of other things.

Now, how can you go about doing kind things for others if you're incapacitated by a medical problem? Honestly, unless you're telepathic, you can't. Just imagine all of the good things you wouldn't be able to do – what a nightmare! So the first thing that you should do is make an appointment to see a dermatologist and figure out what the heck is causing these veins. After all, it's only the right thing to do.

Maybe it was your country upbringing (you live in the city now, but clearly it hasn't affected your love of a simple lifestyle). Or, maybe it's the fact that you always want to find the least expensive option. Regardless of your motives, you certainly have thought of some interesting ways to improve your appearance.

Probably the most interesting of all your inventions, is your remedy for spider veins. Well, it's not so much just one remedy for spider veins as it is more of a routine that you've come up with. This routine was started a couple of years ago, when you first saw those little annoying veins pop up on the calf of your right leg.

You've never exactly been called a vain person, but you certainly haven't been chastised for your looks, either. After all, your husband certainly doesn't complain, and neither did the thirty boyfriends you had before him! So, you definitely feel that your remedy for spider veins can't do anything but help your natural beauty.

You love reading books about the Victorian era. Maybe it was because the ladies had such a sense of style and beauty. Regardless, there was one book about how women bathed in buttermilk to keep their skin smooth. Bingo! You reason that the whiteness of the milk will bleach your skin, thus erasing those nasty spider veins! Yes indeed – this is a great remedy for spider veins!

The problem is that buttermilk isn't the easiest thing to find. You lament that you're not in the country anymore – you would have been able to get that buttermilk faster than a cat jumps over a fence. But here, it's not like that. Obviously, you just need to get butter and milk separately. It's a good thing that you have common sense.

So, you go to the grocery store, and load up on 10 gallons of milk to start with. You also get a few boxes of butter (the unhealthiest kind you can find). You figure that one stick of butter per one gallon of milk should be just about right.

As you load all of that milk on the checkout counter, the cashier raises an eyebrow. You explain that it's not your fault that you have 10 children with a love of all things dairy. Oh, you crack yourself up, you really do. It's a good thing your trunk is big enough to accommodate all this stuff.

Thankfully, when you get home, your husband's too busy watching television to notice the unusual fruits of your shopping labors. You move all the butter and milk into the bathroom as quickly as possible and slam the door. It's times like these that you're equally grateful for having two bathrooms.

You place the butter in a bowl, and melt it with hot water. You pour each of the gallons of milk into the tub, and mix in the melted butter with your foot. You take your clothes off, and gingerly step into your creation. It feels pretty weird, you admit, but you're sure it'll work!

You're happy that you've got such nice legs. They're nice and long, as well as smooth. You are definitely proud of them, but you also know that genetics won't let them be that nice forever. Your mother, grandmother, and all of your aunts have chunky legs with imperfections, and you just know that you'll be next.

Specifically, you'd like to know what causes spider veins, since that's the main problem with all the legs in your family. So, you go to your most reliable source, your mother, and ask her if she wouldn't mind telling you what causes spider veins.

She tells you that there's no one thing as to what causes spider veins. Rather, there are lots of reasons, but she thinks that the main reason as to what causes spider veins is weight gain. She then does something she often does – she starts talking about the past.

She tells you that she used to have legs just like yours, until she became pregnant with your older brother. The weight gain, as well as always being on her feet, definitely contributed to those dreaded veins. She then gave you a word of warning.

Her finger pointed ominously at you. You knew that a lecture was coming. She said that only do the veins start showing up because a person's on their feet so much, it can also happen because they sit too much behind a desk too. Well, that was more than enough of an incentive to get you taking daily walks!

Gone are the days when your legs, albeit hairier than most men's, looked good in shorts. You used to spend entire days out on your boat tanning, and by the end of the summer your legs looked like muscular sculptures of copper. Yes indeed, your legs looked great back then. So what if you're a guy?

You want those legs back again, and are desperately looking for a home cure for spider veins. Your legs certainly look far different than they used to. Age has slowly but surely caught up to you, and now your legs show it. No, you will not give into age! You tell yourself that, no matter what, you most certainly will find a home cure for spider veins!

Your wife, ever the practical one, asks you why for goodness sake you need to figure out your own home cure for spider veins when you could just go to a dermatologist. You shake your head, vehemently opposing her suggestion. After all, she wouldn't understand – it's a guy thing.

Secretly, though, you want to come up with your own home cure for spider veins because you don't want a dermatologist to see your weakness. You want a chance to prove that you can outsmart medicine! So now, the journey begins by trying to figure out what might work best.

You begin by thinking about taking vitamins, or maybe eating more spinach. Heck, just look at Popeye – he ate all of that spinach and you don't see any spider veins on him! So you've decided to begin by taking 2 men's vitamins a day (better too much than too little, you always say) and eating a big bowl of spinach each night with dinner.

Your wife, appalled as she was by your stubbornness, had initially tried helping you out by making the spinach for you. However, you came to the conclusion that she simply wasn't putting enough vinegar in, so you started making the spinach yourself. After all, maybe the vinegar will blast away any of the junk that made those veins appear in the first place!

Well, it's now been two weeks, and those ugly veins are still there. You haven't, in fact, seen any improvement. The only changes are that the house smells like spinach all the time, and your tongue is turning green. So, it's back to thinking about another possible cure.

Heat might do it, right? After all, heat is used for so many other things, that it would certainly be able to help those stupid veins. You take an inventory of all the heating pads you have in the house. Well, there's only two – one for you, and one for your wife. You'll need more than that.

A hundred dollars and six heating pads later, you're ready. You place three on each leg, and settle into your recliner and watch television for five hours straight, each and every day. Thank goodness for retirement, right? Your wife stands in the kitchen, and calmly dials the number of her dermatologist.